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He says it's "disturbing" that I like what he's been doing.

Two questions: (1) Smacking my butt is okay so long as I don't want it? Joking About Consensual Kinks Two options: (1) He goes in for domineering head games and "playful" violence because he's abusive and controlling.

I've tried mixing it up, but he just looks at me strangely and asks me to stop whatever I'm doing. Either he can't because he's so sexually repressed that he's incapable of pushing the words out of his mouth, or he won't because his non-vanilla desires are so extreme as to be deal-breaker-level repulsive to anyone who doesn't share them.

But complaining about your sex life without elaborating or giving you any constructive feedback at all is disqualifying assholery, INGAA. I just read your reply to a woman who wrote to you regarding her partner's lack of libido.

Immediately after a man ejaculates, his dick starts to go soft and he loses all interest in sex—hormones have been released into his bloodstream that short-circuit sexual arousal.

Bodily fluids and orifices a man was happily lapping up or at a minute ago are suddenly repulsive, not because the dude is necessarily inhibited or insecure, CUMU, but because he's having his period—his refractory period.

One thing he won't do is kiss me after I've swallowed his load.

We've been together only four months, so maybe I just need to wait and hope that he'll come around.

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But if kissing after you've swallowed is the only mildly kinky thing you've attempted with him and it was a no, he may not be adventurous enough to deserve unicorn status. Kissing someone who has just swallowed your load (or snowballing with someone who wants you to swallow your own load) presents a challenge for many men.

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So, by now, you’ve got a digital dating portrait worthy of Da Vinci.

Some silly straight men worry that tasting their own come will turn them gay or make them look gay—I've gotten letters from girlfriends who thought their boyfriends were gay because they were too willing to kiss them after a blowjob.

But there are gay men out there who don't want to deep-kiss the guy who just blew them—and they're obviously not worried about turning gay (already are) or seeming gay (ditto). Blame what's known as the "refractory period," CUMU.

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